Working on a Toxic Team: What I Learned in 6 Months

Sunday Nights Were Terrifying

In my second year as a developer, I changed jobs. Salary went up 15%, bigger company name. The interview felt warm. I went in with high expectations.

By week three, something was off. Sunday evenings, a tightness would settle in my chest. Couldn't sleep well the night before work. "Tomorrow I have to see that person again" was the recurring thought.

What Kind of Team Was It?

I don't want to identify the specific company or people. But here's the situation.

The team lead micromanaged -- not in the "reviews every line of code" way, but in the "tracks commit timestamps" way. "No commits after 3 PM yesterday -- what were you doing?" Messages like this appeared. In the public Slack channel.

Code reviews were attacks rather than feedback. "Why did you write it like this? Do you not understand the basics?" Comments like that on PRs. No technical alternatives offered, just personal jabs mixed in.

Team members blamed each other. When a deployment issue occurred, the first question was "who wrote this?" Not finding the cause -- finding the culprit.

At First I Thought It Was My Fault

"I'm getting this feedback because I'm not skilled enough." Year two. Limited experience. So I worked harder. Overtime, weekends spent reviewing code.

Three months in, I started seeing it: "this isn't just me." Other team members were getting the same treatment. Three out of five were experiencing similar stress. (After I left, I learned from another teammate that two people had already quit from that team before I joined.)

I Stuck It Out for Six Months

Why didn't I leave immediately? First, "leaving too quickly looks bad on the resume." Two years of experience, quitting after six months -- wouldn't that raise flags in the next interview? Second, the false hope that "if I just get better, things will improve." Third, I simply didn't have the energy to job-search. I was wiped out by the time I got home every day.

What I learned in those six months was more psychological than technical. Don't ignore your body's signals. Anxiety every Sunday night is not normal.

What Changed After Leaving

Switched jobs at the six-month mark. The new team was completely different. Code review comments said "what about trying it this way?" When deployment issues arose, the first conversation was "how do we prevent this next time?"

First week, the team lead commented on my PR: "Good approach -- just one thing I'd suggest changing." Honestly, I was a bit startled. This is normal, but I'd been conditioned to abnormal.

Looking Back Now

Those six months weren't entirely wasted. I hate to admit it, but my code quality did improve. I developed a habit of scrutiny. (Learning through fear isn't something I'd recommend.)

And I gained a crystal-clear picture of what a "good team" looks like. Wouldn't have known without the contrast. I appreciate my current team every day because I have something to compare against.

For Anyone in a Similar Situation

I want to say "leave quickly." But I know it's not simple. Financial reasons, career concerns, lack of energy. All valid.

One thing I'll say: keep records. Date and what happened. This prevents future self-doubt -- "was I overreacting?" It also helps you answer "why did you leave?" concretely in interviews.

I didn't keep records back then, and my memories are hazy now. The emotions remain but the specifics are fading. I wish I'd written things down.

It was three years ago and I still think about it sometimes. Especially when I'm doing a code review on my current team and it feels easy and safe.