A Developer Who Eats Lunch Alone
I got tired of the daily 'let's eat together' routine. At some point, eating alone just became easier.
"What Are You Having for Lunch?"
When did this Slack message at noon start feeling like a burden?
At first, I ate with the team. Of course. Debating where to go, standing in line, chatting over food. The classic lunch hour.
But lunch is only an hour, and here's how it breaks down: 12 minutes deciding where to eat, 7 minutes walking, 15 minutes in line, 20 minutes eating, 7 minutes walking back. There's nothing left for me. I'd get back and have to grab the keyboard immediately.
So one day, I just went out alone. Without saying anything.
The Art of Solo Dining
The key to eating alone is optimizing ordering and eating.
My routine: a pork soup place three minutes on foot from the office. One item — pork soup, 8,500 won. Food arrives within 30 seconds of sitting down. Eating takes 7 minutes and 40 seconds. (I actually timed it once.) Total including the walk: 18 minutes.
The remaining 42 minutes, I grab a coffee, take a walk nearby, or read something on my phone. Those 42 minutes are precious. Forty-two minutes where nobody talks to me.
(I know this makes me sound antisocial, but if you had 3-4 meetings a day, you'd get it.)
Saying No to "Let's Eat Together" Is Hard
The problem is the declining part. When someone says "want to grab lunch?" and I say "oh I'd rather eat alone" — it's awkward.
At first, I made excuses like "I need to eat quick today." But that gets suspicious when it's every day. Eventually I was just honest: "I usually eat lunch by myself."
The reaction was surprisingly fine. "Oh, okay?" and that was it. Though I have no idea what they thought privately. Maybe "that guy's a bit weird." Can't help it.
Once, a new hire said "I'd love to eat with you, sunbaenim," so I went along. That day, deciding what to eat took 17 minutes. Decision paralysis seems to scale exponentially with two people.
The Stigma Around Solo Lunches
In Korean office culture, eating alone at lunch is classified as unusual behavior. "Is he being ostracized?" "Is the team dynamic bad?" That kind of scrutiny.
I actually got feedback in a 1-on-1 with my manager: "It might be good to eat with the team more often." For team building. I understand, but using my only refresh time for social currency felt a bit harsh.
After that feedback, I started eating with others twice a week. Not a full refusal, but not every day either. A compromise.
What Solo Dining Gives Me
Eating alone lets me organize my thoughts. I replay the code I wrote in the morning, or plan the afternoon's work. Nothing grand — I just need time to space out.
12 to 1 is the only hour of the day that's truly mine.
Went to the soup place today too. The owner asked "same as usual?" Yep. Scanned 8,500 won, sat down, food in 30 seconds.
Consistent. Just like how consistency matters in code, it matters at lunch too.
Okay, that analogy is a stretch.